Personal / Spiritual Development

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{ c.1390, from L. committere “to bring together,” from com- “together, in combination or union’” + mittere “to put,” “to send or let go.”}


Commitment to self opens the pathway to freedom.

Once one is committed all hesitancy ceases – resistance is obsolete

and one can push further into their destiny

towards who they are –

 where they are going –

what they want – in freedom.


Lets dispel a few myths – commitment isn’t about giving something up, being forced into something, losing personal freedom, an obligation or duty, a noose around our neck … ball and chain … or something we have to do. Together in union we morally and emotionally engage, that is commitment. Commitment is about union, a joining together of an equitable nature. It is about bringing together agreements, which we choose to honour through duty and obligation. And we do so through our personal power and a commitment to self. All other commitments flow from our ability to commit to self.

We exercise our personal freedom through out ability to choose to commit. To make a commitment out of duty or obligation is not the nature of commitment. A commitment is something we honour; a duty is something we perform through honouring that commitment. It takes courage to make a commitment and it takes a willingness to be accountable. When we commit we can’t blame anyone or anything, if it is a real commitment we do so from a place of willingness, peace and joy. Our commitments reveal much about whom we are, how we operate and what is important to us. When we commit life gets real, there is no avoidance, we have to show up.

Commitments should honour who we are and what we want. They should be something we are proud of and a pleasure to honour and uphold. If they are not, it may be time to revaluate your sense of commitment or the commitments. Re-evaluating and re-negotiating is integral to the integrity of commitments, it helps to keep them evolving, authentic and sacred. 

Reflection …

What are your beliefs regarding commitment? How do you approach commitment in your relationships? Do you view commitment as a duty or obligation? Do you view commitment as an incursion to freedom? How well do you honour your commitments? How well do you honour commitments to yourself? Do you use your personal freedom to choose to make a commitment? What are your current commitments? Do these commitments honour self? Do you avoid commitments or the act of committing? If so what are you avoiding? Do your commitments bring you pleasure and joy? Are there commitments in your life which require re-evaluating or re-negotiating? Do you use the term commitments to define habits?


When we stand behind our words, we demonstrate commitment.
Commitment exists when our actions meet the expectation of our words – when there’s a congruency between intent, words and action.

Consider the following concepts and may they inspire you to live
from your commitments!

1. Commitment is connection!
Commitment is the connection between our values, intentions and our actions. Connection is the coming together of more than one element, while commitment is the giving of our selves to it, the surrender. The connections we make generate our commitments, just as our commitments generate more profound connections.

2. Passion: the essence of commitment! Passion is that which deeply stirs us. It’s the fire from within and that which motivates us. When passion is missing, our
actions lack meaning and we don’t get the results we want. Without passion, our actions are obligatory and lack velocity. Commitment emanates from passion — passion is the seed from which commitment blossoms!

3. Commitment = persistence. If one is committed, one’s support is uncompromising and unending. One is willing to do anything in support of the commitment.
This applies to love as much as it applies to professional or global commitments. Commitment drives us and anchors us during challenging
times. Commitment helps us to maintain our integrity; we persist to that which we’re committed.

4. Commitment is conscious! Commitment requires insight and self-awareness — one must know what one’s values and ideals are in order to commit to them! Do you
know someone who’s a conscientious and productive worker but who’s not happy? Such a person frequently lacks insight and self-awareness – commitment is difficult if you don’t know what’s most important to you! Commitment requires an ability to observe self and make conscious decisions.

5. Commitment is purposeful.
Commitment involves choice – saying yes to our values and to our passions! Commitment is never haphazard or random. While we may lose our perspective from time to time, commitment always involves choice and intent. Commitment enables us to be purposeful.

6. Commitment is self-expression.
Self-expression is the culmination of who we are and how we’re being. When there’s perfect alignment and congruency between who we are and how we’re being, we are authentic and fully self-expressed. This is wonderfully fulfilling! If commitment is the ultimate expression of our values and who we are, self-expression is a core ingredient of commitment.

7. Vision brings forth our commitment.
Does commitment generate the envisioning process, or does vision generate commitment? Either way, commitment and vision are inexplicably tied together. Expand your vision while you deepen your commitment in order to produce powerful results!

8. Commitment inspires us to be and do our best.
We aim for the sky and shoot for the stars! We refuse to accept less than the best from our selves and others. Our commitment inspires us to reach for quality and excellence. We continually enlarge and clarify our vision – this contributes to our living our personal best.

9. Commitment lives in communication.
Communication involves verbal and nonverbal interaction. While commitment lives in the declaration and words, evidence of commitment lives in the actions we take and don’t take. Be attentive for evidence of commitment in communication.

10. Commitment is surrender.
Commitment is the giving of our selves to what we most believe and want. It is the merging of our ideals and our being. We surrender to our ideals and with commitment, live them. We create what we want when we surrender to our commitment.

Love And Deserving

Today, do something to show love to yourself.


Think kind thoughts


Recall a time you achieved a goal or aspiration

and immerse yourself in the feeling


Treat yourself to something you really enjoy

– a massage, time out, something sweet…


Stand up for yourself where normally, you wouldn’t


Tell someone you love them –

giving love comes back 100-thousandfold


Affirm goodness in your words









Change Yourself

The Order Of Your Universe

There is an order to all in the  universe.

Every component has a specific role and works harmoniously with the  other parts.

Each part enhances and compliments the other parts.

Make your order within your universe … make  each component have a specific role to work harmoniously with the other parts.

Make  each part enhance and compliment the other parts.

Running Scared

Life can present scary situations.

That will never change.

Sometimes we run, sometimes we freeze, sometimes we rebel against them.

Unless we do something different the scary situation will always win.

Instead of running from something scary

… it’s easier to learn not to be scared than to run, freeze.



“All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage and I promise you something great will come of it…”  – ‘We Bought a Zoo’

Follow Your Dreams

Follow your dreams.

Let them reside within you.

And their foundation will be like tree roots

spreading deep and wide into the earth.

And your dreams will grow and branch out reaching high into the sky .

And the branches will blossom and bear you  fruit

and bless the lives of others –

such is the magic of dreams.

Colour Your Day

The dawn greets us with a promise of all things new.

It invites us to create.

It encourages us to explore opportunities.

Like a canvass waiting for us to splash our colour upon it.

How do you colour your day?

Don’t Give Up … The Process Of Becoming

I knew I was ready for the next phase – and that next phase was to follow my dream and passion …”

When I took the leap of faith to go out on my own and write fulltime for a living, I was as scared as all hell. There were shaky moments in the beginning as I shook off old ways, beliefs and input from others. It seemed everyone had an opinion. Most of those opinions were fear based and related to their own experiences. In all, many made comments such as: “Why give up a real paid job with security to write?” Well, that was the gist of it.

I had spent 7 years in a role I loved as a Community / Youth Worker and it was both rewarding and allowed me the opportunity to grow professionally and personally. When that position became redundant (now that’s an interesting word eh?) I knew I was ready for the next phase – and that next phase was to follow my dream and passion. That dream and passion is writing and mentoring … as my own entity.

Whilst I knew this to be true to my core, I had counter-beliefs which, were in many ways part of the cocoon I was shedding. At one point (when things got tough and I doubted my decision and new path…and I took on board the naysayers opinions) I took up an employer based position within the familiar field I had been in for the previous 7 years. In essence, I went back to the same old role … and back (as in backwards) being the operative word!

I was reminded that there was a future me waiting to unfold … waiting to become… “

I lasted 4 days.  Everything in my being screamed. I felt like a traitor to my dreams. I was sick to the stomach … to the core of my being.  I was tormented by my old ways of thinking – until I pushed through – until I took the next step of my new phase, and shed the old skin and the beliefs with it.

It was at this point, I was reminded of a quote – “When you feel like giving up remember why you held on for so long in the first place.”

I was reminded that there was a future me waiting to unfold … waiting to become… There was a future waiting to be realised and live.

… with unequivocal faith in my spirit to be there along the way …”

In remembering why I held on for so long, I resigned from this job, amidst fear but with a conviction to move forward and with unequivocal faith in my spirit to be there along the way. (Needless to say, I received many comments about this decision too.) That same week I secured a publishing contract with and international publisher. Now that’s confirmation!

Sometimes when in our journey of becoming we are tested and the ‘old ways’ come back to taunt and tease. We become a flood with doubts, fears and opinions from others. The way through is to listen to the doubts and fears and let them pass on by like the oceans tide. Remember, others opinions are reflecting back what you need to let go of, they are a reminder of what you are in the process of shedding. For every opinion counter-productive to my vision, I matched within my own programming. I thank those opinions for mirroring back to me what I was letting go of.

Do what you have to do … as long as it doesn’t compromise your dream, truth  or vision. As long as it is in alignment with your personal truth and the future you aspire to.”

From that moment on – I live what I love; do what I’m good at and that which is true to my core and purpose.

Because I didn’t give up on me.

Because I didn’t give up on my dream and vision of how I wanted to live my life.

Because I put energy into faith not doubt.

Because I remained true to my truth and honoured my becoming.

Do what you have to do in life and work … as long as it doesn’t compromise your dream, truth  or vision. As long as it is in alignment with your personal truth and the future you aspire to.

The journey of shedding and becoming who you are meant to be…

In your journey towards your vision and person … achieving your dreams, where are you in your phase of metamorphism?

  • Are you in the cocoon phase … preparing for your new life?
  • Are you in the process of shedding the cocoon … shedding old patterns, beliefs and fears?
  • Are you clinging to the cocoon, scared to let go or held back by old beliefs?

Are you ready to fly … pollinating and sharing your gift and living your dream?



If someone betrays you once, it is his  fault;

If he betrays you twice, it is your  fault.




What Is An Epiphany


There’s something celebratory about moments of epiphany


Epiphany is not, whether subconscious or conscious, without a process. Epiphany is a moment of truth, enlightenment, and like the glow of a bright star as it descends upon the black of the night, so too an epiphany sheds light which directs the flow of wisdom and inspiration towards a pathway of our personal truth. An epiphany and its process connect us to something higher than ourselves.


The process allows for:

  • Transmutation of beliefs into knowing.
  • Transcendence to a state of enlightenment which connects us to our divinity.
  • Progression of transmutation into metamorphosis.
  • Evolvement of simply walking a journey to walking in alignment with personal truth to walking in spirit.


It begins with a belief

And this process is one of evolvement through transmutation. It begins with a belief, a notion we hold as a truth. This belief often times has been with us for … forever it seems … and we form the belief from where-ever … it seems. Maybe from parents, other authority influences, random ideas through a conglomeration of sources, friends, media, church, books, mentors and so on. Our daily experiences, thoughts, feelings, habits, relationships, patterns, things, money, living environment reflect these beliefs. We learn to live as if we are defined by these beliefs as opposed to defining our beliefs. We allow them to dictate and determine outcomes. They keep us hooked to the past, unhinged in the present and fated to our future.

In many ways beliefs can incarcerate us. Jean Jacques Rousseau (1712-1778) major French Philosopher stated “Man is born free and everywhere he has chains.” Karl Marx borrowed this potent slogan a century later. And now a century later, I borrow it to delineate the chains associated with beliefs. A belief becomes a chain when we fail to allow it the freedom to transcend to a knowing. We become chained to a belief when we fail to allow us the freedom to transmute. When a belief belongs to someone else and not to our personal truth it chains us to another’s truth. Irrespective of the where-ever, how-ever and whom-ever, unless these beliefs are challenged it is difficult to know which beliefs are ours … or resonate with our spirit or allow us to authenticate who we are through our personal truth. And so the process of epiphany is one of evolvement and a journey to spirit and your personal truth. And the first step in this journey, this process of epiphany starts with a belief and transcends to a knowing.


It transcends to a knowing

‘I know’ is over-used, misunderstood, misrepresented, and under-stated and oftentimes when used as an I know it’s from a place in the intellect, beliefs, or other people’s ideas and beliefs. The ‘I know” I talk of comes from the soul, one’s personal truth.

 I Deborah K Bates do know there is a difference between believing and knowing. If it’s a belief, it’s not a knowing. If it’s a belief and not a knowing, transmute it or mute it. A belief has to evolve into something higher or becomes an inauthentic way to live. When we experience a knowing as opposed to just a belief it resonates with our soul and spirit.

A belief reverberates, a knowing resonates. (I draw a distinction here between reverberate and resonate to annunciate a difference, albeit subtle. Resonate is to produce or exhibit resonance, (resonance – richness or significance) to relate harmoniously, to strike a chord. Reverberate is a sound that lingers in an area even after the source is suddenly stopped, to ring with many echoes, to have a lasting effect, to repeatedly return, rebound or recoil, to be reflected many times as sound waves from the walls of a confined space. And so a knowing resonates – it produces or exhibits a richness or significance, it relates harmoniously. On the other hand, a belief reverberates – it is a sound that lingers in an area even after the source is suddenly stopped, echoes, repeatedly returns as to rebound or recoil as sound waves from the walls of a confined space.

A belief keeps us aligned to another’s truths; a knowing has us aligned in our personal truth. Throughout our lives we will share similar truths with others, through the process of transcendence we can totally own the belief as a knowing, as a personal truth. Knowing which are ours keeps us aligned to our path, our journey, where we experience our epiphany. If we walk a path aligned to another’s beliefs, we don’t fully own our journey, we are not free to live our experiences, and we are in chains.

As beliefs transcend to a knowing we discover a truth – our personal truth. We find the answers through epiphany. A knowing leads us to the answers we seek, it has found the answer. When we begin the process of eliminating or transcending beliefs into a state of knowing this state of knowing precipitates a metamorphosis. And it is in this moment that we can begin to authenticate our life through beliefs aligned to personal truth through soul and resonate with spirit. It begins with obliteration, for all metaphoric processes require obliteration. Call this the dark night of the soul if you will, always before the light is darkness, a law of nature. Darkness precedes enlightenment.


And so begins the challenge …


The Challenge

The process of challenging a belief can be a challenge! The process necessitates a conscious involvement – a preparedness if you will – to obliterate. It necessitates a willingness to relinquish beliefs, to surrender them, and the power they have to hold us ransom to their inevitability in determining our fate or defining who we are.

D.H. Lawrence (11 September 1885 – 2 March 1930 English author, poet, playwright, essayist and literary critic) said … “Are you willing to be sponged out, erased, cancelled? Made nothing? Are you willing to be made nothing? Dipped into oblivion? If not you will never really be changed.”

And so the belief- challenging-process is one of dismantling, breaking down, a shredding of sorts. It requires eliminating, obliterating for without it, change cannot occur, transcendence is impossible. A belief cannot become something more; cannot transcend into a knowing if not challenged or erased, we cannot evolve without being dipped into oblivion, an epiphany cannot descend where our personal truth fails to exist.

            The precise moment we begin to challenge beliefs a progression occurs, a progression towards evolvement through the process of transmutation which gives rise to a metamorphosis. It’s a journey of transcendence as we rise above a former state of being through thought and beliefs to a state of knowing.


This is the alchemic moment …


The Alchemy

The concepts of epiphany and evolvement are inherently alchemic – that is one of transmutation from one state to another state – a more refined, higher vibrational state. And as our thoughts and beliefs transmute so does our consciousness, vibrations, sensations, and experiences– and here we are at the heart of this alchemic process … that is metamorphosis.

It goes like this: Metamorphosis is more than just transformation. It is a process of alchemy by which one allows oneself to be obliterated to allow the process of transmutation from one state of being to another. It is about a process of becoming … a new you emerging as something new.

The story of the butterfly is particularly useful when describing the alchemic processes … the process of obliteration. Elisabet Sahtouris Ph.D (evolution biologist) wrote: “Inside a cocoon, deep in the caterpillar’s body, tiny things biologists call ‘imaginal disks’ begin to form. Not recognizing the newcomers, the caterpillar’s immune system snuffs them. But they keep coming faster and faster, then begin to link up with each other. Eventually the caterpillar’s immune system fails from the stress and the disks become imaginal cells that build the butterfly from the meltdown of the caterpillar’s body…


And so like the butterfly, we too in the transmutation process build a new state of being from the meltdown of the former. We have experienced an alchemic moment in our journey towards epiphany.

A moment of celebration …


The Celebration

And so …

as believing transcended into knowing, an epiphany occurred …

there was cause to celebrate;

after all there is something celebratory about moments of epiphany.


Through the process of epiphany we challenged beliefs, relinquished what we held to be true to discover a new truth, one aligned to our personal truth. And the concept of beliefs gave way to a higher understanding through which spirit could shine and align to our personal truth. And in that moment we begin to authenticate our life and resonate with spirit. We allowed the obliteration process to occur towards renewal revealing a new you, one that has always been there, waiting to be born – to be revealed.


Knowing knows all about the new you waiting to unfold – the old you awaits for release.

Beliefs know all about the old you and resist the new you unfolding. The spirit waits patiently for you to align to soul where you can walk in the light of your spirit authentically aligned to your personal truth. And so, it is through metamorphosis that we transmute, change, and experience something greater than where we are now.


And so, the process of epiphany is a celebration.

A journey which takes you closer to your authentic self – to your spirit, aligned to your personal truth.


Imagine butterfly.

 Your spirit is waiting.

Your new you is ready to emerge. 

It is time to celebrate.
butterfly animated colourful pattern pictures, backgrounds and images